


The Adventures of Bob and Princess Nasty

by InsanityMachine



Category: Breaking Bad, 回復術士のやり直し | Kaifuku Jutsushi no Yarinaoshi | Redo of Healer (Manga)
Genre: Comedy, Dark Comedy, Drugs, Fantasy, Manga & Anime, Parody, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 01:22:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30013962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsanityMachine/pseuds/InsanityMachine
Summary: A parody of the recent anime, Redo of Healer, in the style of a bedtime story.Contains violence, rape and explicit drug references (as well as deliberately poor grammar).
Kudos: 4





	The Adventures of Bob and Princess Nasty

Once upon a time, in a magical land far far away, there lived a simple peasant boy and his name was “Bob”. He lived in a small village with his childhood girlfriend/little sister until one day he found out he had a strange gift. He woke up one night seeing a magical mark suddenly appear on his right hand and it meant he was one of the four chosen heroes destined to save the land from the evil demon king and is a healer class, so everyone was happy.

  
Then came Princess Nasty upon her unicorn and her knights on their horses. She was one of the four chosen heroes and she is a mage class. She said to Bob “Come with me to the Nasty Kingdom, Bob and let’s go on our adventure to save the land.” and then Bob said “Okay” and so they rode to the Nasty Kingdom where all the people were cheering for them. Every day, sick and dying people came to Bob and Princess Nasty told him “Go and heal the people, Bob” and then Bob said “No.”

  
And Princess Nasty said “Why?” and Bob said “Because Healers are boring. All they ever do is heal people and don’t do any fighting!”. So Princess Nasty said “Okay. Guards! Throw him into the cell and beat him and do whatever you want with him but don’t kill him!” and then the guards threw him into the prison they and Princess Nasty beat him up and raped him and injected him with methamphetamines until he would do as they say and finally start healing people, then they kept beating, raping and injecting him up with amphetamines for fun.

  
One day, Princess Nasty gathered together the other two chosen heroes Ms. Stabbs McBladeKnife and Mr. Bullet Shootington and they, altogether, with Bob wrapped in chains, went on their quest to defeat the demon king. Along the way, they forced him to heal their wounds by beating him, raping him, injecting him with methamphetamines and all kinds of horrible stuff.

  
Then at last, they ventured into the demon kings evil lair and the demon king stepped out of the shadows and yelled “What the hell are you doing in my evil lair, you dirty humans? DIE!!!” and he threw explosive fireballs at Ms. Stabbs BladeKnife and Mr. Bullet Shootington and burnt them to smithereens. Princess Nasty shouted at Bob “Bob! Heal Ms. Stabbs BladeKnife and Mr. Bullet Shootington so they can fight again!” and then Bob said “No!” and Princess Nasty said “Why?!”

  
Bob said “Because everybody keeps beating and raping me up and injecting me with methamphetamines and I hate you!” and it turns out he developed an immunity to methamphetamines so they can’t control him anymore and whenever he healed people during their quest, they sucked out all their memories and learned all kinds of new skills so he now knows how to use magic, do sword fighting, kung fu and all kinds of stuff and he realized being a Healer was the best RPG class in the world. And then he yelled “Healing!” and shot a spell at the Demon King who then exploded. And then he did the same thing to Princess Nasty and she cried “OH NO!” and she exploded too.

  
Suddenly, a Fairy Godmother appeared to Bob and said “Well done, Bob for defeating the Demon King. As your reward, I shall grant you one wish!” and Bob said “I want to rewind back in time before I became the Healer Hero!” and then the Fairy Godmother waved her wand and sent Bob back in time. He was back in his bed when his green mark glowed on his hand. So he started taking methamphetamines to develop his immunity to it again before Princess Nasty would come and take him.

  
Princess Nasty and her knights came and took him to the Nasty kingdom. When she got him to start healing the sick, she said “Go heal some people, Bob.” and then Bob said “No!”. Princess Nasty said “Why?”  
Bob said “Because I came from the future and I sucked out the memories of everybody I healed so now I am the best Healer in the world because I know how to use magic, swords and kung fu and I developed an immunity to methamphetamines so you can’t control me or beat me or rape me anymore.” And then he flipped out with his sword and magic and killed everybody in the castle, including King Nasty. He also used his magical healing powers to brainwash Princess Nasty to be his hot girlfriend and renamed her Princess Not-Nasty and used his healing powers to change his face so he looked more dashing and handsome and his name was then Blob.

  
Blob soon became king of the Not-Nasty kingdom and began building its economy based on methamphetamines so it would be the mightiest kingdom in the world and they all lived happily ever after….

  
Until they expanded to the United States of America and met Bryan Cranston.

  
The End.


End file.
